鳳凰單叢 Phoenix Single Bough

Am getting more and more addicted to Chinese Tea. Really soothing and good for the body.

Recently I have purchased this kind of tea (鳳凰單叢, my translation as title which I found really good) from a shop and it was really good. More importantly I got my first purple clay teapot (紫砂茶壺) too that accompany this tea. The pot has been "nurtured" in the shop for this tea for some time as well and it just looked and smelled good. I am really excited and happy.

Sipping away as I am creating this blog. Will be going back to the shop to get 大紅袍 next week. Really looking forward to it.

麈滿堆

Saw the movie 野‧良犬 (The Pye-Dog) yesterday. Not sure if I am overly sentimental these days or what but this movie, surprisingly, hit me with quite profound feelings.

All characters in the movie are alone, singular person by themselves. And the theme is about how a little boy (Christ) that inter-linked and brought about the transformation (rebirth) within each one of them.

The little boy 林志宏(林俊輝飾) as the Puer/Christ character is the center image. Raised by the "Dual Mother" motif with his biological mother (李麗珍飾) and his grandmother (邵音音飾), he is to reunite with the Father (the Old King) (林子祥飾), that which will transform the Old King to the New King - of Life and Hope. Father and Son are one again.

The main character 陳滿堆(陳奕迅飾) as the Puer/Hero really ignites me. From one being whom is totally unconscious about Life, to the moment of enlightenment when he knows so much about Love. You can witness the moment when he finally becomes Conscious, the moment he made that one decision in life, he is so free, roaming about in the street with such a purpose and such joyful facial expression. Even at the moment of his death, his face is content and filled with joy. He totally lives out what Unconditional Love is. I am guessing his name is picked for a purpose. 陳滿堆 as 麈滿堆. Resonates with 本來無一物，何處惹麈埃。He got it. He is Empty.

Miss張(林苑飾) is the Helen of Troy moving into the stage of Mary, to the stage of Spiritual Love.

The whole movie is so filled with such a theme that I came across yesterday too from the New York Times, that "Young love is about wanting to be happy, Old love is about wanting someone else to be happy.” (Source: http://www.nytimes.com/2007/11/18/weekinreview/18zernike.html?_r=1&th&emc=th&oref=slogin). Such synchronicity.

I salute to these characters in the movie whom have lived this so fully.

心經 梅豔芳 Anita Mui Heart Sutra

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(A surprise delight when I came across this - a song that I have always liked and loved from Anita. Enjoy.)



觀自在菩薩 行深般若波羅蜜多時 照見五蘊皆空 度一切苦厄
舍利子 色不異空 空不異色 色即是空 空即是色 受想形識 亦復如是
舍利子 是諸法空相 不生不滅 不垢不淨 不增不減
是故空中無色 無受想行識 無眼耳鼻舌身意 無色聲香味觸法
無眼界 乃至無意識界 無無明 亦無無明盡 乃至無老死 亦無老死盡
無苦集滅道 無智亦無得 以無所得故
菩提薩埵 依般若波羅蜜多故 心無罣礙
無罣礙故 無有恐怖 遠離顛倒夢想 究竟涅槃
三世諸佛 依般若波羅蜜多故 得阿耨多羅三藐三菩提
故知般若波羅蜜多 是大神咒 是大明咒 是無上咒 是無等等咒
能除一切苦 真實不虛 故說般若波羅蜜多咒 即說咒曰
揭諦揭諦 波羅揭諦 波羅僧揭諦 菩提薩婆訶

Free * Be

Nov 9, 2007 Friday. The day that I am finally free and *be* myself again. A day to rejoice, celebrate, give thanks and show love.

The day I say "Thank You" to my parents and stand without judgement before my sister. The day I know, accept and acknowledge the love that I carry within. The day that I accept myself to be a full human being and love myself. The day I experience and express that love to fellow man. The day that I experience a human being with a human being...

Psalm 46:10
Be still and know that I am God.
Be still and know that I am.
Be still and know.
Be still.
Be.

I love Friday.

Journey to find/know/touch/accept yourself

Just came back from a 4-day workshop held by Maria Gomori. I had a similar workshop before but this time it went much deeper. I can only attribute that to Maria's marvelous energy and warmth and understanding.

We learnt to be congruent. As the process go deeper, we came to see how in fact this process, not unlike the others, is also a journey back to self. I came to witness the birth of a miracle - a human being. And how our feelings of anger, anxiety, fear and betrayal hides an angry child, and behind that angry child is a small, fragile, powerless, helpless, vulnerable self that you, *only you* can reach out to touch and hold that person, that individual.

Once you stand there and look out, you can see how all happenings in (your) life has served a purpose, and that nothing is wasted. We came to be in touch with our own inner being, our own inner resources, of who we are. Not to be perfect - there is no need to - and just to be whole. A seed has already been placed right at the beginning, and through this journey, we obtained nourishments to grow that seed into a tree - a plum tree, a coniferous tree, your tree.

An individual is but a face of God. I am grateful.

City of Angels

A movie that I have watched so many times and will still keep re-watching.

This time when I watched it, it was almost like slow motion and I am taken by every scene of it. And there are lines in there that made me reflect like never before. Just to name a few below.

At the beginning of the movie, when the little girl holds out her hand to greet the hand of Seth by her bedside, that's such a marvelous scene that reminds me of the Healing Presence of the Heart Center. A small hand of surrendering, letting go, into the big hand and letting the big hand hold the little hand. The lighting was superb, with a golden backdrop and with so much light and love in the scene.

A funny thing that I found out too this time is that Angels don't lie. They don't have to because they do not see things as inherently good or bad - not like us.

Since I am working on Masculine/Feminine relationship, the whole movie suddenly throws a new light to me from this angle. Remember the kitchen scene when Maggie was testing Seth that she literally cut into his hand. And she has to put up such an anger as she is facing with something that is totally beyond her. To the Feminine, Love is and can be totally beyond her and overwhelm her and this is her face that she is putting up to the Masculine. She is vulnerable and has to fight back by cutting into his hand - the useful part of the Masculine - that "touches" Her with *feelings*.

Ah yes feelings. "You should trust that. You don't trust it enough." Seth said to Maggie in the library. My always favorite line in the movie.

It also suddenly dawns on me about the progression of how the Masculine and Feminine unite. From the initial encounter, to the kitchen scene (the lesser coniunctio) followed by separation (alchemically) and then the pursue (oh yes with rain included) and then the final (greater) coniunctio.

And Seth said, "I would rather have had one breath of her hair, one kiss from her mouth, one touch of her hand, than eternity without it. One." Reminds me of the Buddhist saying 一即一切 (and the same phrase can be said in reverse 一切即一).

Movie Weekend Oct 29, 2006

Having enjoyed the HOCC concert, two more movies that I watched also over the Chung Yeung Festival weekend.

The first one is "Dorm". Scary movie with meaning. Quite a new idea to film the-always-talked-about Karma event - that one has to go through one's moment of death *over and over again* if one is unsettled with its cause. Quite a profound impact. Nonetheless is this moment only occurred at one's death? Or it is happening moment by moment when we are tortured by the same person, same incidence or the same event in our daily lives?

What wounds one heals one. Vichen, Chatree and Ms Pranese, the Father(s).

The second movie is "The Prestige". Is one really up for Competition? The price you get is Perfection and the price you give is either you are killing yourself every single time, or you are only living half the life. It's that simple.

In both movies, are we really having a choice? You really think you are having a choice? Not until one realizes one's woundings.

(A re-post too.)

HOCC Live in Unity Concert 2006

I've always like Fridays. Always a happy and good spirit day for me. Everything around just seemed nice and as it should be.

And the night I spend at the Coliseum for the HOCC concert is no exception. A wondrous show!

Admire her guts, her sincerity, her authencity and her inpromptu action to greet parents in the middle of the show. What a blessing to review her real self for such occasions!

Bravo for the Taurians me being one!

I especially like the first part of the concert - visually depicting *transformation* with such vivid forms, costumes and movements - and even the sequence of colours is just right! Boy am I in for a surprise.

She is in top form, very fit. For everyone out there, it's a good idea to be an entertainer earlier than late when you can still sing and dance.

The sound system is abit harsh though and I cannot hear the lyrics clearly.

The epiphany that I received though is what does it mean by "in service". I am moved.

(A re-post from my other blogs. Concert was held Oct 26-28, 2006. I saw the one on Oct 29 2006 Friday.)

Showers Tears Dew Grace - Polarity

Having been sick for more than 3 weeks and going back to the gym today was like a blessing. Sitting and sleeping at home aches the body believe it or not. Movement actually makes one lighter and more agile.

An additional benefit of going to the gym is I can enjoy the shower to its fullest extent. Mine at home is the old electric storage kind so it's always a pity for a person like me whom likes to shower so much. So I took my time and enjoy my shower today at the gym. It was lovely and relaxing and refreshing.

Well as this feeling grows on me, it reminds me of a. the hot spring during the Kailash Pilgrimage and b. the scene in City of Angels when the fallen angel shows Seth how he cannot enjoy the brush of waves over a naked body when the Angels were gathered at sunrise and sunset at the beach to hear music. The water of the showers were like tears when we are emotionally at its peak, and the showers and the tears are like dew falling from the sky that is like a grace.

A revelation suddenly comes to me. I mean for a spiritual practitioner, we always want to go back to Oneness and it just didn't seem fair and cannot seem to understand how we humans got to be in this suffering world. Well well well. Humans are in a bipolar world where things and concepts exist in opposites. There is good and evil, light and dark, hot and cold, bitter and sweet, life and death, masculine and feminine. Seem unfair. But come to think of it, Angels cannot feel the difference between hot water and cold water pouring on their faces. We can, and we need this distinction for Survival to be able to live in this world, this dimension - To exist! Consciousness need the contrast and polarity to be able to understand things in this dimension.

On the way coming back from the gym, I went past a gallery where there is an oil painting on display with the title "Extremities 極". Awesome!

Rotten Tree

Have started going to a free course on couselling in preparation for the Hospice Work. The instructor is an experienced worker, and I like the course especially for the fact that he has added a Buddhist perspective to it. He is knowlegable, funny and experienced.

Last Friday was the fourth week into the course and there were like six to seven of us remaining. He told us a story. At the beginning when he started to offer this course, he would get upset at times seeing the number of students getting smaller and smaller as the course got further along. Then a sculptor friend of his told him what happened on a piece of sculpture. When he got the piece of wood in, he would not think of what he would carve immediately. He would just leave the piece of wood outside and let it sit and rot. After a few days, surely the wood will rot, will dry up, will have the un-needed pieces shaken off and the essence of it would remain. Then without his active wanting of the piece of wood into any form, the piece of wood would naturally call for its shape and form to be carved out.

A nice story. Also reminds me of the Dark Mother that I am currently working with in my own psychospiritual journey. She sure does have a way to shake out the un-needed part for the good part to remain for assimilation. Like the immune and the digestive systems in our body, she protects and nourishes in her sacred ways.

自我孰誰、天地自開

身體繼續感冒，想可能是清洗行動。正在閱讀中是 Edward Edinger 的 The Mysterium Lectures – A Journey through C.G. Jung’s Mysterium Coniunctionis。是一本多麼豐富的書，把心靈（psyche）盡現。一方面身體是知道的，正準備去迎接（所以有清洗），另方面自我（ego）卻感到沮喪、乏力，尤其現在正處書的尾部，談到 3 stages of coniunctio。好深呀！

心情上，再次覺得空虛，懷疑，撫心在問自己正在做什麼。覺得好疲乏。

午睡醒來，不知身在何處，只想躺着不動。思緒卻在飄呀飄，突然想到之前發過的 beggar dream，想起那種自由自在的感覺，猛然有一念頭在心中升起：「其實我真是自己的，我可以做任何事情！」

這種行動，不只是日常（unconscious）的行動，是一種有意識 （conscious）、有自由（freedom）、有選擇（choice）的行動。是清晰的，好像是在地上實行一樣。是神聖的，religious，as if it is a sacrifice，something to make sacred。這包括任何行動，所有的行動，不論是任何的行動。 It does not matter what one do！ Now that Action seemed to carry a whole different meaning！

我可以做任何行動，但行動背後的力量不再是自我，而是歸納入於大道，Self，本我。The Power Center is moved to the Self, away from the Ego — no wonder the Ego is fighting。 But the Ego carries a different role now。It is there to witness，to analyze， to differentiate， to become the eyes and ears of God， 「去實行在地上」。

無名無姓、無牽無掛
自我孰誰、天地自開

色，戒 Lust Caution

My first time ever I felt such patriotic emotions oozing up in my heart when they march and say "China Shall Stand!"

And the range and depth of emotions that was touched in the movie... Oh my gosh!!!

Patriotic
Father Daughter
First Love
Peer Love
Sex Love
Husband Wife
Woman Woman
Man Man
Survival Love
Sex Death and Violence

Not the sex
Not the diamond
Not the pill

But the one thing that comes out of the three as the fourth - Love.

The scenes keep lingering on in my mind and I just have to see it one more time to really chew on the many scenes that speaks so much.

The story line is simple enough and it is definitely due to Ang Lee that makes a fine and superb representation of the layers of emotions involved. It grasps you 5 mins you are in up until the end.

(And I cannot believe the review that I saw on the NY Times. Such a trasher that shows me how ignorant the writer is. She dares to complain about the armpit hair that is showing in the sex scenes. I wonder how attentive and draw she is to the movie in the first place and how little she knows about the Chinese woman - we don't usually shave our underarm hair. Period.)

Sep 06 隨想 (random thoughts)

外賣琦

Something quite funny happened yesterday. I was going to see a Chinese Doctor with a friend and at the watchman station this is what happened:

Watchman: What are you doing here?
Me: Seeing Dr. Koo.
Watchman: What are you doing here?
Me: Seeing Dr. Koo.
Watchman: Do you live here?
Me: No, I am here to see Dr. Koo.
Watchman: Which floor are you going?
Me: ...

At this point, seeing obviously that the watchman was not "capturing" what I said to him, my friend intervened and told the watchman sternly that we were going to see the Chinese doctor. He then shut up.

Afterwards, my friend kept laughing because she realized that the watchman has mistaken me as a person who delivers food - I was dressed in a sort of worn green T-shirt, a pair of shorts with a pair of Crocs on, and worst, carrying a white plastic bag holding the food that we were planning to take home! So my new name for today 外賣琦!!!

Hotel Babylon

There is a TV series shown every Thu 10:30pm on Pearl called Hotel Babylon. My first Brit TV series but I quite like it. The characters are very well developed and each has a distinct personality. The head of this 5-star hotel is of course a woman Rebecca, and assisting her as the second in command is the man Charlie. Quite charming in their own rites in that Rebecca is firm and wide vision while Charlie is well-rounded. Then there is the trickster Concierge Tony and the flamboyant Reception Anna and Ben. Also is the all-serving Mother character head of house keeping Jackie, the simple and straight forward steward Gino, and the strong will house cleaning maid Tanya.

What is captivating is the things that can happen in a hotel. Quite unimaginable, and how each of these unique personalities are inter-mingled in between with their unique reactions and the warm resolution at the end. A show I recommend.

ARK

Saw Evan Almighty last Friday. Delightful and Funny. Quite meaningful too and just can't help putting this trivial thing down as a reminder.

Three scenes that especially touches me personally.

When God first appears to Evan when he prayed for "Change the World", here is God's answer, " One single Act of Random Kindness at a time". This especially moves me deeply as this just coincides with what my Teachers have been telling me about Selfless Service.

The second scene that touches me is when Evan's wife decided to leave him thinking that he is insane. I felt it deeply the kind of loneliness when one is to follow God onto one's journey. That kind of struggle as an ordinary human being to follow which way, the Man's way or the God's way.

Of course the third scene is the resolution of the conflict above by God's hand. God appeared in front of Evan's wife (Joan) and said this, "Let me ask you something. If someone prays for patience, you think God gives them patience? Or does he give them the opportunity to be patient? If he prayed for courage, does God give him courage, or does he give him opportunities to be courageous? If someone prayed for the family to be closer, do you think God zaps them with warm fuzzy feelings, or does he give them opportunities to love each other?"

無名無姓、無牽無掛

Just have a dream when my recently deceased uncle speaks to me. My first reaction is frightened, no exception there. But when that passed, a deeper thought reveals that it is the Voice from the Other side speaking to me.

Friends have helped interpret the dream for me and it shows how Death can be a transcendent function – when they told me that I am in fact Death-friendly!!! Not easy to accept indeed but when one has a dream that points to the song Music of the Night not too long ago, don’t think I can really say that it is not mine.

I have been pondering since what that dream means, and how such consciousness would lead to a greater awakening. I came up with the Chinese title yesterday and I think it sums it up really well. To live like this in this earthly realm can be such an awakening. I am trying to deepen into this state of consciousness.

And your body surely would chime along. Not to mention having this torturing migraine for the last few days when the Chinese doctor told me that it is emotions related. Boy should I be surprised or not?!

The last two weeks I have been struggling if I should start looking for a job to earn some income. Of course the mind and body is not cooperating! Talking with my roommate really helps and she helps me to settle out with the idea that I can still work a fulltime job but then spend my after work hours exploring the Hospice Work which the dream indicates is my line of “work”. That sounded like a good idea and the chattering mind conflict finally seemed to settle out a bit.

And when that happens I got a call from an agency for two possible job openings. Isn’t this nice?

Doing Nothing and Emptying

August 09

Aug 9th. First typhoon in Hong Kong. My roommate was hoping that Signal No.8 will be hoisted but turned out the cyclone was a not so strong one afterall. She has to go to work today.

Indeed going back to exercise after 10 days of not doing it was quite tiring. But today I actually felt better after back in the exercise routine from Tue. Body feels lighter.

I had an interesting interview yesterday. Interesting in the sense that it was not at all what I was expecting. Nonetheless an advice from a good friend also points out to me that whether I can do this job depends on whether I can empty out. Like a full glass of water whether I can empty all of that inside.

Keep me thinking since. Even though I claimed I have been doing nothing in the past seven months, my mind was not. In fact it was quite occupied with feelings of worry and uncertainty. It just dawned on me what she said to me about emptying. Independent of whether I am going to take that job or not, I have to empty out my "past" to make room for the future.

I have jokingly said that I am doing nothing but realistically I have not been resting at all. Maybe I should begin to do that now....

God bless me.

Heroes - I can't do it without you

July 18

Just finished the series Heroes Season 1. (It will be shown on Pearl starting from August 7th.)

As the series progress, more and more I heard the Heroes are saying "I can't do this without you." A sudden sense of compassion fills me. I mean, given Heroes as they are, they know they cannot do this alone. They reach out and ask for help. They seek each other out and try to do this together with one theme at heart. They honour each other.

And in a way the series also take a very honest look about being special, being given something of power. And how frightful it can be when you are carrying something not of the collective even though in most of our minds we would think that it is something great. The sacrifice of being special and the beauty of being simple.

And Unconditional Love includes it all, special and simple, power and powerlessness.

Go on? or Quit?

June 25

Comment from Joel has stirred another thought, that which has already been stirring in my mind. And this takes another message to elaborate on it to open it up even further.

Indeed alot of time the hiking was done alone. Yes, walking alone most of the time and you noticed in your mind there is a lot of noise(s) -- debating when to stop, what is the pacing, when to have lunch, when to stop and take pictures, or not, when to stop and pee and drink water etc. Yes, 堅持? 還是放棄?

After the outer kora, there is the inner kora which takes 10 hours to complete. It's a tougher climb (highest being 20,000 feet) and there is a steep 50 feet cliff climb where you have to use all four limbs to lift the body up. Immediately after hearing this I already knew it's not for me. Team leader again explains to me that the first 2.5 hour is an easy walk towards Kailash where you can see the Southern face opens up right in front of you and a lot of pilgrims would just go the first 2.5 hour and walk back. Sound good to me. So the next morning I followed those who are undertaking the inner kora.

Just as the team leader said, it was a lovely plateau where Kailash opened up right in front of your eyes. Sitting there greeting Mount Kailash face to face was already an experience. After a short meditation, I decided to turn back with the Sharpa that was helping me carrying my backpack for the outer kora and also for this inner kora. At this point in time, the team leader asked me if it's okay for me to carry my own bag and walked back so that "my" Sharpa can go on. It was an interesting cross-road in my mind, as over the last 3 days, I have grown to depend on my Sharpa and the attachment is quite obvious between us. And he has also expressed that he did not need to complete the inner kora if I was not doing it. The question from the team leader seemed to break that bonding right there and I was reluctant. But then he went on to say that maybe the Sharpa can go on to help others that were doing the inner kora.

A voice in me said to me that it's okay to "give it up", and there is something that will happen. So I said okay. I said goodbye to my Sharpa as he helped me to put my backpack back on. Took me the same time to walk back and it was almost 9pm before the eight came back to base camp from the inner kora.

One of the eight came up to me and said "thank you" because the Sharpa has helped her carried her bag when she needed it the most so that she can finish it. And then at the most dangerous part when the rocks are loose, she is able to yell at the one in front to watch out for "Rocks! Rocks!" when a rock is about to hit her head. Then another person at the 50 feet cliff climb was falling because there was no place to grasp when my Sharpa was able to hold her thigh to prevent her from falling.

I kept wondering ever since will there be a difference if 1. I decided to go on with the inner kora, or 2. that I have decided to keep my Sharpa to walk back with me...

Kailash Pilgrimage

June 20

過去的三十天，對於我這位從未渡過野外生活，亦從未認真行過像「毅行者」一般山路的人，深感能完成回來已是一種福氣。

年頭剛遲去幹了十四年的老本行，適逢其會，碰上老師推薦一位同修的美國同學舉辦一次神山 (Mt Kailash) 聖湖的朝聖之旅，再也合適不過。當即報名，也怱忙去Calif 報名，由三月頭開始的訓練，準備今次朝聖之旅。

行程由尼泊爾開始，以連續五天每天八小時的行山腳程用來適應高山症，以及準備圍繞神山一圈的三日朝聖。上山下水、下雨下雪、驕陽大風，終於行到五月三十一日 Ｓagadawa節，亦正式宣布神山朝聖的開始。

聖湖是圍山行前必到的地方，Lake Manasarovar 是那樣的蔚藍碧綠，天水如一。遠眺神山，合成的景象是那樣的恬靜和諧，是那份天地初開，本來就是如此的自然和諧。身處其中，感受天、地、人的聯合，情深感動的眼淚不期然掉下來。是喜悅的，是悸動的，是驚喜的，是和平的，是遼闊的，是豁達的，是謙卑的…天上地下已無分別。

身體可是不爭氣，挨不了凍，竟自動向領隊提出放棄行神山的要求。「朝聖是會遇到障礙的」，領隊向我溫柔地說。「不如先不要作决定，先走完第一天，比較容易，再看看第二日走不走吧。」

走罷第一天，成功完成，可惜藏牛隊伍卻因大雪走失了，帳幕睡袋一時不知去向。慶幸在營地附近正有一客棧在興建中，管理的願意讓我們渡宿一宵。而過了不多久牛隊亦在這時（十時半）歸隊。這晚，能睡在睡袋中，有瓦遮頭（而不是睡在帳幕中），心中已滿是感激。睡致半夜，被一輪溫柔的光線照醒，放眼一看，原來睡時面正正朝窗，神山圓月就透過窗，用溫柔的月色把我全身覆蓋照亮。我被眼前的景象震動了！神山正以溫柔的一面跟我說話，陪伴我，照亮我，支持我。天色是晴朗的，山和月就這樣互相映照著。這一剎那就是這般的心滿、意足，別無所求。我好清晰的感受到，我會去走完神山之行，是這樣理所當然、本應如此的。神山已在我心深處留下了記認。第二日起來陽光充沛，和其他團友先後分別來到Dolma-La pass，亦各自分別「重生」。心中載得滿滿的…

餘下的時間，分別用了四天由西藏的西面乘車及步行到拉薩。沿途也參觀了出名的寺院，及觀賞遊牧民族的特色。牧羊的有，牧牛的有。

到了拉薩，已跟一般中國城市沒有大分別。有事需提前回港，未有緣參觀Potala Palace，倒買了一幅Mandala 回來。Thanka好漂亮，可惜一不懂辨別古董真偽，二來價錢亦頗昂貴。

三天前回到香港，團友說像這樣的朝聖經歷，真正的開悟體驗要大概兩個月才「出來」，因為身體各方面要從「生還者」的模式恢復過來。好，就等吧。

Music of the Night

April 19

Had a dream right on the verge of my birthday that's on Death. And the song Music of the Night seemed to depict the feeling(s) so nicely. Here it is:

Nighttime sharpens, heightens each sensation
Darkness stirs and wakes imagination
Silently the senses abandon their defences

Slowly, gently, night unfurls its splendour
Grasp it, sense it, tremulous and tender
Turn your face away from the garish light of day
Turn your thoughts away from cold unfeeling light
And listen to the music of the night

Close you eyes and surrender to your darkest dreams
Purge your thoughts of the life you knew before!
Close your eyes, let your spirit start to soar
And you'll live as you've never lived before

Softly, deftly, music shall surround you
Feel it, hear it closing in around you
Open up your mind, let your fantasies unwind
In this darkness which you know you cannot fight
The darkness of the music of the night

Let your mind start a journey through a strange, new world
Leave all thoughts of the world you knew before
Let your soul take you where you long to be
Only then can you belong to me

Floating, falling, sweet intoxication
Touch me, trust me, savour each sensation
Let the dream begin, let your darker side give in
To the power of the music that I write
The power of the music of the night

You alone can make my song take flight
Help me make the music of the night

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Now as I am re-posting it, suddenly I realize how this song has depicted my plight since I left my job - and is to follow my soul song to move back to the "Night".

"Let your mind start a journey through a strange, new world
Leave all thoughts of the world you knew before
Let your soul take you where you long to be
Only then can you belong to me"

I hope, I pray, I kowtow, I kneel to this....

First 7 days of 2007

January 07

Finally left my old job. In a way it's leaving my old identity behind and moving on to a new phase of my life. To say new is not entirely accurate, it just seemed I am just beginning to live out the "real" life. Just a step closer to what is.

It's been a week and observed that the mind is not settling as easy as I thought. Guess it really takes some time for things to unload.

Habits.

Delighted and excited. It's almost like seeing my life slowly reveal itself in front of my eyes - can this be manifestion in its true sense?!

Grateful for what has happened thus far. It is almost like learning now on how to place yourself with God.

And don't forget joy.